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Are you a giver or a taker & who helps the helpers? Don’t assume that I don’t need your help otherwise you end end up with the ‘X Factor’ Effect. – Marilyn Devonish

41 Comments

  2. Often I make it my business to ‘like’ people’s posts just to show support, especially if there isn’t any likes on their post. We’ve got to look out for each other. It doesn’t kill us to sign up or buy a book from someone. Spread the love <3

  9. Thank you Marilyn. So are you. 🙂 <3 I have bought low price tickets for events that I can't possibly go to, just to give someone a boost. I am not saying this to show I'm a nice guy, but just to say 'think if it was your event. Wouldn't you like it if you saw a ticket sale or whatever' A spark of hope. A crack of light is all you need to dispel the darkness <3

  14. I love this Marilyn, as someone who has also had reflected to me that I give a lot and that people don’t think I need anything, I think it is wonderful to draw attention to the X Factor effect. A big learning for me was also to begin asking for help more, not being attached to getting it, but just being open to allow others to help me in the way that I help them, if they want to and it resonates for them to do so.

    I feel very lucky to have relationships with the people close to me where we can ask for help and support and if for whatever reason it doesn’t resonate, the answer no is appreciated as much as the answer yes, because we know any yes is a true, full body, yes and a no is ‘I want to support you, but that way or this time doesn’t resonate with me at the moment’ and is often followed with a ‘can we find another way that works for us both’.

    Raising each other up by sharing, recommending and talking about the great work we’re all doing can only help everyone. I know I regularly comment on your content and have recommended you to people when I’ve felt you were a better fit than me, or they’re looking for something you excel at, but maybe people don’t know what they could do to help and support you?

    So my question to you is, how could people, myself included, help and support you more?

  17. Claire Brummell Great question. One thing I know works, is that people with mailing lists, who know what I do, and have ideally worked with me in some capacity, include me in their email newsletter if I am running a programme or workshop that their list might benefit from.
    That sounds like a really easy ask, and I have been doing that for other people for over 10 years now, if not longer.

    And in this social media age, Facebook sharing. Likes are great, and sharing an event or forthcoming workshop and adding a few words of recommendation is even better. If it’s something that I’ve attended or have knowledge of, I’ll always add a couple of sentences as to why I think my contacts might want to take a look or go along etc.

    And I suppose while we are on the subject. I’m no longer in the ‘spend 10 days writing a 50,000 word business or project proposal’ mode, so if people work in organisations who would benefit from a great keynote speaker or workshop creator and facilitator, then I’m your gal! 😉 I often get lots of ‘I can’t pay you’ requests, so paid corporate gigs to fill in the gaps are always awesome.

    And outside of that, personal recommendations like the ones you speak of when someone is looking to solve something that you or I can help with are also very much appreciated.

    Thank you for asking. It is good to articulate these things.

    M <3

  18. You’re welcome, thank you for sharing, clarity around what we can do for someone often makes people realise how easy it can be to help someone, which makes them more inclined to do it!

    As always, will keep you in mind if my Claire-y senses start tingling around any contacts for speaking/workshops/facilitating. For me that’s often the best guide as to who to connect who with and who to recommend people to Xx

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