Men, if you have no real interest in a woman why don’t you just leave her alone? Why pull this crap?
As promised, my email address if you wanted to share anything outside of the public thread is: marilyn@tranceformationsTM.com and you can also PM me.
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Marilyn Devonish <3 http://www.tranceformationstm.com
‘Some’ single men huh, they love attention and are scared of a strong woman!
Janine Fordham I did actually find myself wondering if it was some weird form of attention seeking; liking the thought of having someone chase them.
Marilyn Devonish Some do like that!
Hahaha! Loving it!
You look 37 😃
Some men love strong women who can stand up on their own…and be interdependent
What happened again, missed the beginning?
This looks like a rant,. must listen in 🙂
ROFL 😀 Me. Ranting? With my reputation? LOOOOOOL 😀
Marilyn I just saw the video float past and thought: this is the face that Marilyn shows up in when she is as we say in Ireland ‘fit to be tied’ 😀 Holding it back very well my friend 🙂
Paddy Honan I have no idea what that means! 😀
It means having a fit or being livid or hyper. That you are ready to be tied up. ‘fit to be tied’. It looks to me like ‘I am curious about this and will kill someone soon’, but the smile hides it so well 😀 😂
I suspect the perception of the video is somewhat coloured by my rather colourful title. If you could have seen the conversation that took part with myself and a friend beforehand you will know that we were rolling about on the floor laughing!
but deeeeeeep down, you could find the use for a rolling pin other than making him some scones ;).
You are a great character Marilyn. Thanks for putting up with my teasing etc. 😀 <3
Oh Paddy that is too funny. LOOOOOL 😀 I’m crying here, and given that I rarely cook and never bake, if you ever see me with a rolling pin you will definitely know that it is time to run.
I will!!! Reminds me of this one…
The line from Andy Capp was ‘Baking at this time of the night..?’ 😀
Brilliant!!!!
Thats some rant your on about men….know plenty women that act that way as well
She (Marilyn Devonish) did say that at the beginning. I’ve met women that way too and they (people like that generally) don’t just behave that way when dating…
Hello Marilyn!
They are scared.
I get those types, it’s very dull, I quickly let them go now!
Janine Yes, it is all rather yawn worthy.
You did lighten up the subject though, loved your rant about it, as I feel it as it happens to me. It did on Saturday, I just say good bye and neeeexxxt 😉
Janine As weird as it might sound it was actually fun for me because it isn’t my life and I was just an observer. In my line of work however I see the serious and sharp end of this kind of treatment. There have also been times where laughter has been by far the best cure to help someone move out of the ‘why hasn’t he called’ hole. I’m all about the Yin and the Yang LOL! 😉
I agree, they have their own inner insecurities and issues, that’s why it happens mostly. Or they just want something different, what is ‘their’ issue I really don’t think about it these days. Just 💁 wave goodbye with a smile. It’s best to know their true character at the start, as a lucky escape, we wouldn’t want to date a flakey man! It’s so easy to text and say something, it’s weak to just say nothing!
They need some really good friends to tell them to really go for it or leave it 😊😊😊
Rose Anna In that same way my friends would question my sanity, I did wonder if he didn’t have friends doing the same.
Marilyn Devonish Rose Anna – if he is a narcissist they generally don’t actually have real friends…
Still scared to be vulnerable
Could be. And I would say if that is the case, “Do One!!!” and stop messing with people’s heads.
Seriously though. Why? Heartlessness and simple disrespect for other people. Manipulative disingenuous men. They are a lesson for you to get stronger and decide you don’t need these losers.
Thank you Paddy Honan and sadly that sounds about right.
I had a man do this to me 2 weekends, then that’s it, goodbye!
Love the topic 🙂
Ohhhhh! Marilyn!
I have been hit on by women on a weekly basis. As soon as I mentioned it to a few friends, that increased to several every week. So now I am keeping my mouth shut!
Yep Harun Rabbani keep them there thoughts to yourself! 😀
Lol!!!! That’s just brilliant Marilyn
What about asking for a husband who lives and loves only u and wants to grow with you.💗❤️🌟❤️
Toks Beverley Coker That is a wonderful request. M <3
It’s really funny, was just watching a couple of great videos about this topic – and the thing that really honed in was if you are looking for commitment and your not getting it to look at where oneself isn’t committing in some areas in their life.
Just missed this interesting topic – i will watch 🙂
Thank you for tuning in Anita Langley. I had great fun with this one!!!! 😀
Marilyn I only caught the last minute trying to watch the replay but it stops after 3 mins?
It doesn’t on my version. I’ve just let it run and it plays the whole way through . . . . . .
Marilyn Devonish ok will try again 🙂
Btw, you are looking very beautiful today 😊
Thank you Rose Anna. 😀 <3
Also Marilyn YOU DESERVE THE BEST TREATMENT! #FURREALZ
👏🏽👑❤️🌟💗👍🏽😘🎉🤗
Great rant 👏😃👍 good fun too!
Many men haven’t been shown how to treat woman from the beginning – the mothers have taught them to not have respect and regard for woman in many cases…
Rose Anna I have to admit that my mind did wander to that scenario and possibility as I observed the whole thing unfolding . . . . .
I am serious. You do deserve the best M. You are too thoughtful, caring, intelligent and generally benevolently wonderful to be putting up with crap.
They are intimidated by your energy maybe. Don’t settle. You got this. <3
Thank you Paddy Honan. I spent quite some time last night attempting to convince my friend and her son that I am an absolute angel . . . . . They were having none of it!!!! LOOOOOL 😀
Marilyn you don’t have to be. You are genuine and a super human being (also a superhuman) 🙂
Mar- ur rocking red today..I love it…me too and so was my colleague that I had to meet- something about Paso Doble, passion for what you’re saying and rising up against meatballs and Narcissus of the world that just all comes together….got to be a theme today! Well done!
Thank you Sonny and I am loving the theme, and I did actually talk about it taking two to Tango!
Ego.ego ego..commitment phobe…douchebag….
Manjit Kaur Jootle LOOOOOOL and yes, all of those permutations did come to mind . . . . . . 😉
Unfortunately Marilyn Devonish I have experienced those shenanigans and worse…very disheartening. Though an awesome platform for me to step more and more into my own…and my power….still unfriendly experience.
Now it doesn’t stick or effect…it is from afar amusement of this behaviour and one which is farrrrr from funny as you quite rightly said.
I did, amongst other things nickname him The Joker because I had to be like this has got to be some kind of universal joke! 😂😂😂
Exactly…
Thank you xx ❤️❤️xx
Thank you for watching Pamela. 😊
What about guys who are discouraged from talking about dating right at the onset?
Ray Samuel Jr I see that as saving time. If there is no interest in dating, I say let someone know so they can move along and put that interest where it will be well received. For me it’s kinda cruel to do it any other way. The hanging on waiting and wondering isn’t fun in my books.
Ouch!
Ouch? Ray Samuel Jr would you prefer that someone pretend and string you along and mess you about?
Of course not, however that does not take away the pain. Quick stab or slow burn it is the same anyway.
Drama , intrigue and avoidant addict;) totally agree on looking inwards if we keep bumping up against those types.
Lee I am trusting that is was my first and very last encounter. It was however HUGELY fascinating.
Marilyn Devonish I think people who behave in that way are running from their stuff. Much of the time using others to temporarily numb their emotional discomfort. I’ve heard numerous stories from men sharing about their issues and it so often comes from a deep pain. Doesn’t make the behaviour ok but helps understand it. Great talk… Do more!:) x
Lee I’m not a name and shame person however this particular conversation has been calling out for expression for quite some time . . . . . .
Marilyn – the fact it’s still getting to you in some way definitely says NPD to me…the question ‘why would anyone want to do that?’ is my marker…
Coral Jones For me it was kinda fun to watch. For someone who cares, it’s horrible.
Hi Marilyn . . I’m a bloke and I’m just as mystified! . . . I’ve never come across this one either!
Neil I am actually very delighted to hear that because I still pray that these guys are an isolated and small breed.
The only thing I could say I’ve noticed is that it was a lot easier to get together with someone when I was 18 than it is these days (38) People seem to play these silly games like “treat em mean, keep em keen” and all that rubbish. I understand people get burned and put up defenses and all, especially if it happens a few times but that sort of thing just puts me off . . . I mean, if I say I like you, then I like you . . . Treating me mean aint gonna make me like you more is it?! 🙂
Neil So very true. I also wondered if there was an element of that ‘don’t reply to messages for X number of days’ nonsense going on with this scenario. Apparently ‘the game’ does work on a psychological level however I’m not sure how much it aids connection and communication.
I’ve heard it works but I’d say it’s effectiveness is relative to how much the receiving person needs that person to “complete them” or make them happy, which is all too often in my experience. I think part of that problem is societies apparent preoccupation with the idea that you HAVE to be with someone to be happy.
It took me a while but I’ve trained my friends to stop trying to fix me up with someone . . . Bless em 🙂
It’s nice that they care. Those who know me well don’t bother with such antics either. 😆
https://goo.gl/images/nQq1qQ
Natasha Reddy I always LOVE that quote and I think he is spot on. Thank you for the share.
Jump up like in church…screaming AMEN!!!!
Sonny ROFL 🙏🏼 😂😂😂😆😆😆
He’s just checking in keeping you on standby in case his other 3 hypotheticals bail out or fail. Narcissistic and emotionally unavailable possibly likes to feel wanted by having options not by mutually fulfilling exchanges.
Ask me why I know? My Dad and my Ex.
Natasha Reddy The N word, narcissist had been mentioned by various friends many times (Sonny Olmo) however I found myself wondering if that might be too harsh a description . . . . . . If that were the case of would have most likely been the least satisfying of the options because I never had any inclination to chase or pander.
Yes pure Narcissistic interest I can guarantee it. Believe me I’m an expert on the topic…
James Harley If you have watched the video you would have seen that I have already said that this can equally apply to women.
Nope not harsh at all. I’ve come to the conversation late but I think I know what you’re talking about and the word is NPD… Classic ‘hoovering’ tactics to try to keep you as narcissistic supply if he wants you, by the sounds of it…it’s about 1 in 25 btw so not that common, but imho more so as we get older because they don’t form proper attachments…and go for those they believe are strong to tear them down as a challenge, and because they know we all want to be loved…lol yes it can apply to women, funnily enough I came across one the other day…if you find yourself asking ‘why would anyone want to do that?’ – about anything they’ve done- you’re probably dealing with one…
Coral Jones That makes sense. And it did appear to me to be some kind of game or challenge. All rather weird and bemusing on the whole. Could have been emotionally crushing had I been in the game.
Yes it generally goes with lovebombing in the first instance to get you hooked, as you mentioned…and then they suck all your emotional energy out of you (their narcissistic supply) you can’t believe that anyone would do that or change like that so suddenly, you think it’s you thats done something wrong, and yes, you feel gutted…the longer the relationship has gone on the worse the drop when you get ‘devalued’ and then ‘discarded’ as if you were a piece of rubbish – sometimes you are ‘triangulated’ with another woman, to make you feel even worse (they wave her in front of you as much as possible) …the energy and sucking up your pain thing are just like dementors in Harry Potter…I’m sure that’s who she is talking about…the only way to deal with them is to go no contact…its hard and hurts like hell but eventually they leave you alone…
What a pity there’s not a radar that lights up to detect them. It would save many people a lot of emotional bother!!!!!
Marilyn Devonish exactly, its why people need to know about them and understand how they operate. Its not negative stuff its information – and up to you what you do with it…
me too…oh and btw I think you’ll find the answer to your question is something along the lines of, power and control, and ‘fun’ at keeping someone hanging on…no respect for anyone, no guilt, no remorse, no emotion…and yes they appear to act like teenagers (stuck in that age actually!) the only way to deal with them is to go no contact…(block them in every way otherwise they continue to try to do your head in until they get no reaction whatsoever) they just want a reaction, whatever that is. Even negative feedback from you ‘feeds’ their narcissistic supply (its quite sickening actually)…
Coral Jones If they also feed on the negative or as I might put it, some home truths from me perspective, I can confirm that I left him very well fed. 😂😂😂😂
😀 😀 😀 😀 well done you…however, they just think oh great, how can I wind her up even more next time and feed off your anger…best thing to do to get rid of them is go ‘grey rock’ (i.e. don’t show any emotion and make yourself as boring as possible to them) or better still ‘no contact’ – block from everything so they cant get a reaction even if you feel like giving/sending one…latest from my ex husband (we divorced 20 years ago more or less) is trying to stop our son seeing me on my birthday by asking him to babysit (and paying him lots of money)…I kid you not…all he wants is me to ring him and shout at him…so what do you think I will do?
I trust that your son will eventually buy you something lovely with some of that extra money!!! And thankfully I don’t need anger to vent, it’s just another creative outlet. And even with anger my motto is: “Better out than in!” 😊
Marilyn – its what they think they’re getting (maybe not what they actually are, but what they think they’re creating for you inside, which they go out of their way to try to find out before doing it…) imagine a truly evil person that has a wry smile on their face whenever something goes badly for you or they think you might be hurting, or annoyed, or even just a little irritated…that’s what you’re dealing with. As they don’t have emotions they need ‘entertainment’ and thats what we empaths are to them…
Coral Now that I can imagine and even picture in my mind!!! 👹😈 I am so glad that I have a slightly warped sense of humour.
LOL just to warn you they can be REALLY nasty once they realise you’ve sussed them out. Did the mask ever slip? Whatever you do don’t let him near enough to be able to do any damage, because believe me, they will if they can…
Coral I doubt that he would re-appear because I keep asking questions. I will however refer back to this wonderful thread should I ever need to remind myself or issue a wake up call. 😊 👍🏽
Marilyn Devonish I had my business threatened by one, I was nearly killed and got badly ripped off by one, I got pregnant/had a miscarriage by one who denied it was his, lost a job through one, got my name blackened by at least 2…and the list does go on…best thing you can do is run, no matter how ‘able’ you feel in dealing with one…the reason? they have no emotion/empathy/guilt/remorse…try to imagine that for a second…what could you do if you didn’t have that?
He has a partner who controls him and when u give him a day he can’t comply
Maybe he was playing the same game you were ? Watching and seeing how many times someone would respond to the same message over and over again.
Gareth Stubbs That would be the height of craziness because I made it very clear on many occasions that it was a game that I had no interest in playing, and still it carried on . . . .
OK – you just said you liked watching people and engaging with them, thats all.
Gareth Stubbs There came a point where there weren’t many options; get mad and annoyed or watch it and learn. I went for watch and learn given that the game seem determined to play itself out.
So, and i am just playing devil’s advocate, you created the situation as you were staying emotionally engaged ?
I am also fascinated by this having lived through it quite a number of times. If anything, my experience is that woman are only after men who are good looking, wealthy and drive flash cars so if you dont have any of those, they dont even bother responding however, I know this is not the truth BUT if I keep engaging in it, as you know, it will be this.
I saw that when I emotionally engaged, by even just responding to basic texts and then getting know answer, it led to personal challenges. Kind of like syncronicity, not just only for the good things.
Keep asking the questions, you’ll keep getting the situations so you can find the solutions is what I live by and yeah, as always, I love watching your videos as they are so entertaining and informative so thanks for sharing yet another.
He didn’t have a car and as far as I know he wasn’t wealthy . . . . I still replied because I’m polite like that, If someone messages and asks me a question I’ll answer. Call me old fashioned.
I believe that what you resist persists so there are times where it is jolly good fun to play along and see where something takes you. This was one of those times!
There was no big emotional angst or engagement after I saw the pattern. It was all just interesting observation and a good dose of curiosity about what drives people to do such things. People, both their joyful and not so joyful sides fascinate me and I am happy to live in a world of contrast when there is something that I need to pay attention to . . . . . 🙂
Self sabotage. Getting a result they don’t expect so ignoring it because they don’t believe they deserve it until they do get the angry response which fulfills the sabotage prophesy.