Why Self Help Books & Workshops Don’t Work!
I saw the picture below on Robert Holden‘s facebook page this morning:
This so so so so true. Many years ago I had a neat little stack of self-help books before I got properly into personal development. They were all good books, yet none of them ‘worked’ for me because, although I didn’t know it at the time, there was a vital ingredient missing.
What was that vital missing ingredient?
In my case that missing ingredient was a HUGE lack of self worth, self belief, and constantly living with that sense that I wasn’t good enough. I had no idea they were even there. I thought that I had just been dealt a bum deal, and an unlucky hand in the card game of life because I knew that it wasn’t true for everyone.
I used to describe my life as being on the outside looking in. Everyone else was out there, participating in life, having fun, making friends, laughing, talking, dancing, feeling at peace, simple things in the grand scheme of it all, yet there was I, somehow denied these simple pleasures, and trapped in a mindset of fear, jealousy, sadness and frustration.
So how did it all change?
For me, my world at the time imploded. I had an illness which completely drained my energy. I had aspirations of being an Accountant but realised that I didn’t have the energy to work and study part-time so I gave up the job that I had at an Investment Bank in the City and tried to devote my time to the Accountancy instead. (I say ‘tried to‘ deliberately because what I didn’t realise at the time was that being an Accountant wasn’t going to give me confidence either, however that is a whole other blog post!)
At around the same time my I discovered that my then partner and fiance was having an affair. I hit the proverbial rock bottom, which thankfully also coincided with a personal development course I’d signed up for where on the agenda was looking at changing limiting beliefs and negative emotions. Armed with my Business Studies Degree, Post Grad Marketing Diploma, and Teaching Certificate, I was very sceptical to say the least. In fact, if the truth be told, the only reason I participated at all was so that I could prove it was all nonsense and get my money back . . . . . . . . The rest, as they say, is history.
When I decided to change my mindset and beliefs, EVERYTHING changed. And not just what was going on inside of me, but the way that I perceived, saw, felt, and interacted with people and life and the world.
I was so blown away by the ‘TranceFormation‘ that I gave up the Accountancy studies and decided to become a Hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer, and Breakthrough Coach/Therapist instead. That was in October 2000. I haven’t looked back since, and I have now had the pleasure of helping thousands of other people to open up their worlds and be more in a place of self-acceptance and self-love.
What a fabulous journey it has been so far . . . . . . . .
Here’s to self-acceptance, self love, and as a friend of mine always used to say, All Good Things! Love, Marilyn Devonish
For further information about Breakthrough Coaching and How To Change Your Life in 8 Hours or Less, go to: www.tranceformationsTM.com
AN ADDITION TO THE ORIGINAL POST
I put a link to this blog post on my facebook page. I had the following beautiful response from Petra, which I felt would be an amazing blog post in itself for anyone who has had issues with food, diet, weight, body image, and self acceptance. Petra has given me permission to share her insights and the response that she wrote:
Petra Lander: What a great insight Marilyn! It also took me 30+ years to figure that all my dieting successes followed by new weight gain failures were all down to a total lack of self acceptance and self love. It’s taken 2 more years to get the ‘war with self conversations’ out of my head and I am only just at the beginning of not using ‘food’ to self harm and stuff down emotions any longer. So probably another 2 years to get back into great physical shape and glorious vitality with ‘real’ food. What a late and slow bloomer I am! But at least the new seeds of self acceptance and love are growing and it’s never too late to learn and grow! Thanks for a great blog. You are truly gifted! Xx As I said to Petra, “Better bloomin’ late than never!” Love and smiles, Marilyn xx