Tyrese Gibson Weeps for Fast & Furious Star Paul Walker – Why Men Should Cry

 

“Hollywood star publicly grieves for his dead co-star”

I warn you now that this video link is a bit of a media circus with staring onlookers standing around in a circle.  Also, only watch it if you are OK with being a bit upset.  It is Singer and Actor Tyrese Gibson at the crash site of the late Fast & Furious star Paul Walker.

What got me about this footage of Tyrese openly crying and showing his grief is just that.  From the work that I do, and even through just my observations of the world, one of the problems that I see is that people have become so conditioned that it is NOT OK to feel bad.  That it is not OK to feel upset.  That it is not OK to feel rage and anger.  That feelings must somehow be kept on the up.  As though we can ‘swish pattern’ away anything that doesn’t feel good.  That we should magically hypnotise out of existence any ‘negative emotions’ that dare to surface and cause us to show our vulnerability.

Now don’t get me wrong, as a Certified Trainer of NLP, a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis, a Certified Trainer of Time Line Therapy, and Trainer or Practitioner in a ton of other modalities there are times when I’m all about the ‘swish’ and go.

For me, the problem is not with having and experiencing the emotion, but with what comes after that.  If several months or years later someone is still stuck in the same place, still experiencing the same uncontrollable rage, still batting with the anger, still almost drowning and consumed by heart wrenching grief, that’s when the swishing and hypnotising might come into play.

You can see in the video clip video that Tyrese almost doesn’t know what to do.  Almost a sense of disbelief that what he is witnessing is real and that the devastating realisation that the news of Paul Walkers early and seemingly untimely death  is true.  And, I applaud him for going with that feeling in public, under the watchful eye and glare of cameras and mobile phones.

There is the old adage that men don’t cry.  In my work as a TranceFormational™ Coach and Therapist, working with both men and women,  I often see women for whom it’s not OK to cry because that too is seen as a sign of weakness and something to be ashamed of.

(We interrupt your regular programming for the first of the EASTER EGG HUNT prizes if you would like to win a place on my Huna Weekend Workshop in May.  This is egg number 3 of 5.  For more information about the Huna Workshop click here)

I love the Fast and Furious movies and ironically they tend to come out on the week of my Birthday so I’ve spent a couple of nights on the 17th May in the cinema, popcorn in hand, enjoying the boys with their fast car toys.  The F&F movie franchise will never quite be the same again.

RIP Paul Walker and thank you for the thrills and spills.

My best wishes and condolences to your family and friends and all of those whose lives you have touched in the relatively short time that you were here on this earth.

You can watch the video clip that I am referring to here: http://youtu.be/GWQGO5XE9gQ

Marilyn Devonish

 

ABOUT MARILYN DEVONISH

Marilyn Devonish is a Keynote Speaker, Freelance Writer, TranceFormational™ Change Coach, and Observer Of Life.

Web: www.tranceformationsTM.com

ADDENDUM

I shared a shorter version of this post on my facebook page.  A comment was made about why I was ‘ignoring the other 150,000’ people that died on that same day.  My answer is this:

“Why would those ‘150,000’ people be ignored? Unless they died without family or friends or colleagues, someone today will be mourning their loss. Someone today will be remembering their life. Someone today will be remembering the good times that they shared. And even if they died alone, many countries and religions will call in their version of a Priest to administer last rights and bless them on their way. Despite the illusion created by social media, I personally don’t think that it is possible to know everyone. From my perspective however, what public things like this do is give people permission to grieve. I have spent the past 13 years working with the aftermath of people mistakenly thinking and trying to hold things inside. People who somehow got caught up in the idea that they had to soldier on after a certain period of time. If they were able to do what Tyrese has done rather than ‘keep things together’ their lives, health, and relationships would have been very different, and some of them might still be with us today.”

They then returned saying it ‘didn’t make sense that millions of people would be grieving for someone they’d never met’, my answer and point of view is this:

“I never met Elvis yet I grieved when he died because he was in my home everyday. I watched his films on a Saturday afternoon, my mum constantly played his music, I had a favorite book about him in the school library. Something was missing that was never going to be replaced on the day that he died. I grieved for the sister of a friend whom I’d never met because my friend was so sad that a big part of her life would never be the same again. Is it the same a grieving for someone that you know personally, sometimes not, however I wouldn’t try to diminish or take away from that. It is sometimes easier to grieve for someone once or twice removed and that is often just the catalyst for things that have been waiting to be expressed that do relate to their lives but which hasn’t yet had the chance to find an outlet. Each to their own, you have your point of view which is also perfectly valid.”

This post wasn’t about singling out a famous person.  For me it was about shifting thinking, beliefs, and consciousness on the idea of grief and the mistaken belief that many have gotten caught up in that we need to hold everything inside.  Unexpressed and repressed emotions have been the killer of many dreams.  I for one feel that part of my work on this planet is to help that are ready shift, transform, and change that.