Have you had a ‘dating drought’ where all of the attention, attraction energy, interest, and even the pool of suitable partners seems to have dried up?
Have you been hoping to start dating again yet not sure what might be stopping and blocking you?
If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, read on!!!!
I completed another amazing Breakthrough Coaching Session with a client. They excitedly told me at the start of the call:
“Marilyn, it’s probably got nothing to do with these sessions and what we’ve been doing, but after several years of nothing I’ve been asked out on a date! Well actually, there are 3 men interested in me, and one that I really like!”
We celebrated, did some virtual Skype high fives, and I also knew that in the back of my mind it sounded kind of familiar to me.
Today was our final Coaching Session which was part of a 10-hour package so as well as changing some final old limiting beliefs and installing some new one’s, we were also doing a recap of the previous sessions. As flicked through the session notes to check that we’d resolved everything that the client wanted to work on I came to the notes from a couple of months ago where we were talking about their outcomes from the Coaching Sessions and what they wanted to create and achieve. Right there, in black and white it read:
“To start dating again.”
My client was totally shocked because they didn’t remember saying it, having that intention, or even mentioning to me that they wanted to start dating again.
This always makes me laugh because it happens so regularly. With things like my online Magic & Gratitude programme, and my PhotoReading™ Mastermind Groups, people will say something in passing, and then low and behold, on our next call it has miraculously happened or been done and achieved and they don’t even remember having said it.
My client was so shocked and taken aback and couldn’t believe she’d said it that I immediately photographed the page and mailed it over to them.
I always tell my clients to be careful what they wish for as they step into this space and start working with me because stuff tends to happen even when they don’t remember requesting it. Several of my clients who have been on the receiving end now call it the ‘Marilyn Devonish Vortex!’
As we went through and I read extracts of the notes about where they were at in terms of their thoughts, feelings, and emotions they said:
“OMG. I can’t believe it. I don’t even recognise that. My initial reaction is that is so tragic, that it’s so sad, and that I’d hate for anyone to feel like that. Wow. Now I’m just all whoa, come on, let’s get up and go!!!!!”
The interesting thing is, is that was exactly how they were living their life every single day with the lack of confidence, self doubt, self sabotage, and feeling like a huge disappointment, and now they had taken up new hobbies, started taking action in their business, and were of course back out on the dating scene and looking at getting into a relationship.
I again quietly smiled to myself because one of their outcomes was to stop being stuck in daydreaming and therefore taking no action.
The Magical Ripple Effect
I just love the amazing ripple effect of how this stuff works. I loved it even before I fully appreciated the full extent of the possibilities because the water drop ripple has been my logo for the past 15 years.
I didn’t know at the time I decided on the logo just how much power and resonance it would hold for the way that I work, however I am delighted to have more than lived into that original early vision.
Personal development and therapy is such a powerful tool that we now all have at our fingertips, and I do find it sad, and some might say tragic, that people do often live their lives in this way when there are so many alternatives available today.
I can’t tell you how delighted I am that I not only stumbled across personal development all those years ago, but that I decided to give up the Accountancy and make this my vocation instead.
From Dating Drought to Man Flood
The big question that several people were then asking is: “So what did we do to help her turn things around and have not 1, not 2, but 3 men chasing after her after a dating drought of several years??????!!!!!!
My very short answer is we cleaned up those internal representations, limiting beliefs, outlook on life and mindset. The more esoteric answer is that we changed her vibration so that she was both more ready to date, and was then more able to notice and attract people who were also on that same vibe and wavelength .
My practical answer is that we worked on healing, resolving, clarifying and realigning her values, beliefs, mindset, and releasing old emotions (the usual suspects that you might want to start looking at are anger, fear, guilt, shame, sadness, and anxiety), changing old limiting beliefs (the I’m not worthy, I’m not good enough type of thing), and resolving old issues from the past.
With the ‘changing her vibration’ piece which I know some people baulk at because it seems rather intangible and of little importance, by her own admission, had these men shown up previously (and indeed one of them was already around and watching and waiting from the sidelines), she wasn’t spiritually or emotionally in a position to have handled it or to have been a particularly great partner.
Are You Repelling or Pushing Prospective Partners Away?
There is a saying in NLP which talks about ‘perception is projection’ and that whatever is going on inside of you will play out externally and act as either an attractor or a repellant. I have found this to be particularly true with relationships.
Many people, particularly men can relate to a woman acting cool but deep down you can see she is ‘desperate’ for a relationship. Despite the outward appearances, that internal desperation and the fragmented or the wounded heart still manages to seep through.
There are also the people who are actively looking for a relationship yet are scared and fearful of being in a relationship which means they are effectively ‘pushing’ it away. It might be as simple as them being afraid that they will get hurt again, right down to their unconscious values where relationships = control, loss of freedom, giving up their identity, etc.
We were 8 hours into the 10 hour process when she became a man magnet as we’d spaced the sessions out over a couple of months because my client wanted time to consolidate the information and put the action points from each session into practice, so it can be pretty quick when you are truly ready and have cleaned up and emptied out your old emotional baggage.
How Do You Clear The Old Emotional Baggage?
One of my favourite modalities for clearing old emotional baggage and changing limiting beliefs aside from Time Line Therapy™ and Access Consciousness, is Huna and the full Ho’oponopono process.
An overview of the true meaning of the process is outlined below:
I haven’t met many people who are completely free of any emotional baggage, the real question is around how much you carry and for how long?
How Long Did It Take?
To whizz through clearing anger, sadness, fear, and guilt can take just 1 or 2 hours once you’ve done the diagnostic work, and with Ho’oponopono, you can be done in 30 minutes or less if you’re not doing the full on bells and whistles authentic Huna version.
We started working together on 16th December, did 4 sessions, maybe 5 x 2/3 hour sessions, and we concluded at the end of April, by which time she already had them queuing up to get to know her. She is a lovely and very talented lady so I wish them all good luck in terms of whoever is lucky enough to win her hand.
So, to those of you that had all but given up hope of dating despite seemingly ‘doing everything’ take heart that it can happen pretty much in an instant.
Thank you to all of you that continue to come out to play and trust me with your emotional health and wellbeing. Thank you for giving me permission to share snippets of your amazing stories as it is such a wonderful way to give hope to and inspire others. It’s an honour and a privilege to be able to do so.
Do feel free to share this post if you know other people who would be interested in reading it.
Marilyn ♥
ABOUT MARILYN DEVONISH
Marilyn Devonish is a Certified Trainer of NLP, Certified Trainer of Time Line Therapy, Certified Trainer of Hypnosis, Certified PhotoReading Instructor, Soul Plan Reader, and Certified Angel Intuitive and Tarot Card Reader, and Certified Life and Executive Coach. She is also a Business Graduate, holds a Post Graduate Chartered Institute of Marketing Diploma, is a Corporate Trainer, Management Consultant, and Prince2 Project Manager.
In addition to the Trainer and Consultancy practice and qualifications, she is also a Practitioner in EFT, EmoTrance, DNA Theta Healing, Hawaiian Huna, Access Bars, Access Consciousness, Energetic NLP, Positive EFT, Reiki, Past Life Regression, Opening the Heart (OTH), Future Life Progression.
Marilyn is Freelance Magazine Writer, Keynote Speaker, and Workshop Facilitator. She has been in therapeutic practice and working in the field of personal development since the year 2000 after giving up on her Chartered Accountancy studies to become a Coach and Hypnotherapist.
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