Oprah Winfrey on Finding that Elusive Spouse-Work Balance

Can you balance love and career?

 

Oprah Winfrey and her team of Producers were asked about the challenges in having a busy job and a family life outside of that, and whether it was even possible to choose a job and career that is your passion and have a partner at the same time.

Oprah said:

“It takes different type of person to live with a person who has to exact so much energy outside of the home, so choosing the mate is really really key.

With my team, the women who work here, nobody could be here with the kind of man who wanted a woman who was gonna stay home because I personally, and all the women that work here, have had that situation where you say: ‘I’ll be home at 7, and 7 turns into 8, and 8 turns into 10, ten turns into midnight. You just have to have somebody who is willing to move and roll with that. 

You need a partner that gets that.  A partner who is OK with you having a job that goes from sun up to sun down.”

A member of Oprah’s team said:

“We’re proof you can find it, so never settle for anything less because you can have it all.  We are proof you can have it all.  Balance is not the right word because we don’t have balance in our lives but we have a normal that works for us, and we thrive, our families thrive, our children thrive, so don’t be scared about it, embrace it, and find what works for you. You’ll find it, it’s out there.” 

Oprah said in response to that:

“Absolutely.  I think in finding a mate, looking for somebody who is going to accept the fact that you are as driven, as ambitious as is required to be in this business.  You cannot be in this business unless you have the ambition, and the heart and the passion to stay with it.  The spouse often doesn’t get enough credit.”

The majority of Oprah’s team have been with her a minimum of 15 years, many for the full 25 years of the Oprah Show.  Most are married with 2 or 3 children  The majority of the Producers are women.  A few, like Oprah have a spouse and dogs.  What they all seem to have in common is that they love their lives, and love what they do, and have stayed married and raised families throughout.  They were not saying it was without challenges.  What got them through was choosing a spouse that supported them and ‘got’ that they were also driven by something other than just their marriage or partnership.

As Oprah said, it takes a different type of person to be with someone who has that kind of drive.

Although I myself have had a live TV series, and various radio shows, and been out on the road speaking at conventions and in auditoriums, I am not ‘in TV’ per se however I totally get that.

I met Stedman Graham while we were both Speakers at the same event at the O2 Arena in London and he was very much their in how own right and doing his thing:

I also find myself doing a million and one things and loving it, as you will see from my mini biography below.  For many business owners, regardless of the industry, we have a passion for what we do and we often happily do it from sun up till sun down and live and breath it.

For me the word that really stood out was thriving.  I would say choose a partner where you both allow each other to thrive.

I know from my Coaching practice and therapeutic work, that many people see relationships as constricting.  As something that means you have to be less than you are, a union that means you have to clip your wings so that you can fit into the new box that you will both create together.  A setup that means you have to stifle your creativity, and stop being who you are.

This show reminded me that there are people out there who have created a new normal which works for them without having to give up who they are and what they are passionate about.

There is a scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indy has to choose the Holy Grail in order to save his father who was played by Sean Connery.  The Knight guarding the chalices simply says: “Choose wisely.”  That was the message of the responses given by Oprah and her team.

Also, Indiana could have gone for the shiny chalice which looked good and was full of promise and jewels.  Instead he chose the most simple looking Grail, yet the one that was authentic and held the most healing energy and power.

And sometimes life is like that.  Do we go for the shiny new thing that looks great on the outside yet has no lasting substance or ability to help sustain our lives, or do we go for something a bit different, yet holds within it a depth of support that we didn’t even dream was possible.

Here’s to choosing what supports us in our lives, and to finding someone with whom we can be there for them and mutually do the same.

Marilyn ♥

 

ABOUT MARILYN DEVONISH

Marilyn Devonish is a Business Graduate, holds a Post Graduate Chartered Institute of Marketing Diploma, is a Corporate Trainer, Management Consultant, and Prince2 Project Manager.  She is also a Certified Trainer of NLP, Certified Trainer of Time Line Therapy, Certified Trainer of Hypnosis, Certified PhotoReading™ Instructor, Soul Plan Reader, Certified Angel Intuitive and Angel Tarot Card Reader, and Certified Life and Executive Coach.

She is also a Practitioner in EFT, EmoTrance, DNA Theta Healing, Hawaiian Huna, Access Bars, Access Consciousness, Energetic NLP, Positive EFT, Past Life Regression, Opening the Heart (OTH), Future Life Progression, and Reiki.

In addition, Marilyn Devonish is Freelance Magazine Writer, Keynote Speaker, and Workshop Facilitator.  She has been in the field of personal development since the year 2000 after giving up on her Chartered Accountancy studies to become a Coach and Hypnotherapist.

In addition to running public workshops and events, she also designs and delivers bespoke Corporate and industry trainings.

CONTACT INFORMATION

E-mail: marilyn@tranceformationsTM.com

Website: www.tranceformationsTM.com 

Services Guide: www.tranceformationsTM.com/servicesguide

Conferences and Workshops: www.tranceformationsTM.com/eventsandworkshops