35 Comments

  2. Heck yeah Marilyn! I see it in my life, I see it in the lives of my clients, students and friends and family. I don’t see it as a DNA thing or genealogy, but definitely see it as an energetic thing that is passed down generation to generation until it is brought out in the consciousness and dealt with.

  3. In my opinion – Yes, until we learn otherwise. We do what we know or have been taught and along the way, our teachers have also had the opportunity to learn another way.

  4. Your values are often forged in times of extreme experiences, so sometimes you get properly burned. then you change and stop taking crap from people, forever. 🙂

  5. help people to move forward, not backwards. So if giving in feeds their oppression, both of you lose. If you help them to grow by being fair but firm, both of you win. 🙂

    • I was certain it wasn’t linked to DNA, but then again, I have been known to get it wrong or forget from time to time. This reminds me of my studies during my Sound Therapy course years ago… we discussed the fact that mitochondrial is where these memories are located.

      Just as memories or fears can be relayed from father to offspring, it is even more relevant from mother to child, especially if mother experiences trauma or stress whilst pregnant.

      Thanks for the reminder Marilyn! <3

    • I’ve a great example of this: very recently, I learned about my father’s history. It turns out that my grandmother was pregnant with my father at the end of WWII. Being a Russian-German, the family was expelled from Russia and forced to flee – along with 12 million others – through war torn lands until they reached Germany. Once there, they had to “prove their rights to exist” and attempt to make a life in devastated Germany. During this time, grandmother had to do this whilst her eldest son & husband were held as prisoners in Siberia.

      Somehow they managed to scrape together the money to get a boat ticket for 6 of them to Canada.

      I can only imagine how those experiences have affected my father and his family. What I do know now though, is that those experiences have been fully played out in my own life!

      Now that I know the pattern, it’s time to stop it. Time to live my story…but those old patterns are so unconsciously ingrained it makes for an interesting challenge! 😉

    • Renée Stotz I find it fascinating. I watched a great documentary a couple of years ago about holocaust survivors and their families and found that some fears had been passed down through the generations even though their children and grandchildren didn’t suffer the same physical or mental traumas. Much to be discovered and uncovered me thinks!!!

    • Marilyn Devonish Oh yeah, most definitely much to be uncovered. Biggest issue is that those in the ‘know’ about what really happened have all passed away. My one saving grace (so-to-speak) is my aunt who has dementia so she is regressing to those days and sharing when my father visits her. Time for me to chatting with dad to get more info me thinks! 😉

    • ROFL. Seriously though, one of the clients that sticks in my mind. We did a Past Life Regression/Time Line piece and she describes this woman who came to talk to her in great detail, so much detail that she decided to go home and speak to her mum about it. She’d barely got the words out when her mum exclaimed: “Oh that’s Great Aunt whatever” and then went on to describe the woman who my client had never hear of or met.

  11. I give to give not to get, willingly, yet see in too many cases a view that doing so is weak and prime for using, thus abusing. When I see that coming, my intentions change, leaving the taker to say, “I didn’t know you were like that; you’re mean!” Give me a break Mr/Miss Manipulator! Amen to what you just said: Takers are colorless. Speak the truth sister friend!

  12. Patricia Green I hear ya. I have always wanted to be as helpful as I could however I’ve recently had a few wake up calls so I am now going to have to risk being labeled mean. I am just getting myself ready for that because I have been complicit in training many in freely taking an never expecting to be asked to give anything in return . . . . .

  13. I think it has something to do with the unconscious programme ” I’m not good enough” despite all evidence to the contrary …which in turn attracts those who somehow sense that vulnerability and exploit it. The “fake it till you make it” is an old but effective tool in overcoming it in my experience. I know it’s what gave me permission to have the courage to ask for what I needed instead of just being happy to meet the needs of others ….I don’t have all the answers but this is my small contribution

  16. I think if you’ve had that kind of background you have certain ‘learned’ behaviours such as not putting people in their place, and also believing that you are not enough/worth love and loving people in your life. I think others have pointed out that you tend to be attracted to the familiar ‘home’ of abusive behaviour. Whether this is in your DNA or not or gets carried through generations I’m not sure – I think it could be karmic in that way – the parents parents probably abused as well and this is the only way they know how to do things, for example. I have heard that there is a ‘trauma’ gene though, so I don’t know if you’ve heard of that and whether it would help answer your question; abusive behaviour (and people putting up with it i.e. patterns, allowing it to continue or going back for it) tends to be related to trauma bonding which theoretically could be a genetic thing as to whether some people are more susceptible than others, and the chemicals (e.g. oxytocin) involved…In my opinion its about learning the lesson(s) you need to learn and keeping repeating the mistake until you get it…and changing your behaviours so that you don’t give into it or create bonds in the first place…not sure whether I have or not yet, but am hopeful… Those kinds of people seek out more vulnerable and ‘damaged’ people because they know their weaknesses – so the more self awareness we have about them and the traits we don’t like, the less likely we are to be susceptible to them…also if we are very successful and haven’t healed old wounds they will take advantage as much as possible… Also, ‘rescuers’ have a higher chance of attracting abusive types because they are always looking to help others…I think we all need to become more aware of exactly why we do this, and to understand that whilst we don’t want to see the bad in anybody, such people do exist and we need to protect ourselves from them by educating ourselves as much as possible about their patterns and how we can suss them out before they entangle us in their manipulative worlds…Just a few thoughts that I hope might help..:D

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