This story in the Daily Mail where a former Army Corporal commits suicide is really sad, and awful to think that in this day and age relationships combined with work and life still drive what seem like lovely people with lots to live for to end their own lives.
According to the story he took his own life because he was unable to cope with the break up of his relationship. I won’t repeat the full story here, you can access it using the link above or below.
I know someone who knows him so it’s not quite one of those ‘remote’ stories about ‘someone’, a stranger.
As the article both alludes to and plays down, it was probably more than just the break up of his 2nd marriage, there was also issues with his health and career. One or two of those factors, maybe more can be just about bearable for people but there often comes that tipping point, the point at which the next thing is the last straw. I suspect that a combination of factors from several different area contributed to the overall picture, in much the same way that we hear of a celebrity that passes away due to the unexpected and lethal combination of things in their system.
“That was almost me when my partner had an affair”
Because my life has changed so much since then, and I now work with people who find themselves in a similar situation, I am almost finding it kind of hard to comprehend that I was in a similar situation myself back in September 2000 when I found out that my fiance was having (another) affair. It did feel like the end of my world at that time because I could see all of my hopes and dreams and plans and expectations and certainty for the future unravelling before my very eyes and going down the drain.
I noticed at the end of the article that The Daily Mail published the number for The Samaritans. It was the Samaritans that I called that September (and kept the poor person on the phone for almost 4 hours!) It was that incident that also led me to becoming a Samaritan myself the following year once I’d got my head and life more together.
“Volunteer if you can”
The call was such a great help to me that I decided that I really wanted to be able to do the same for other people. It sounds kind of weird to say it, but I really enjoyed the years that I spent as a Samaritan volunteer, and if you have the time and the temperament, I would highly recommend it. It of course isn’t for everyone, and the selection process back then was quite confrontational to say the least because they have to make sure you are really ready to handle such things. I remember the Induction Day all these years later because it was such a challenging yet beneficial experience.
No big words of wisdom on this one because it often takes a particular set of circumstances to help people to see that light at the end of the tunnel and take those first seemingly big steps to get help.
If you or someone you know is dealing with similar issues, what I would say is to keep in mind and take heart from the following:
- There really IS light at the end of the tunnel and things really can get better (a whole let better) if that is what you choose. I say choose because it has to be a choice. A choice to be open to the help and support that is available.
- It often requires an open mind and a leap of faith. If someone had sat down and tried to logically tell me that something called NLP, and Hypnosis, and Time Line Therapy was going to be my saviour (I was studying to be an Accountant at the time) I would have laughed them out of town. A twist of fate and circumstances put them in my path at just the right time, and because I was already at rock bottom, I figured that I didn’t really have anything left to loose by giving it a go.
- The change can be pretty much instantaneous as it was for me back then and the type of work that I now do with my clients, however be prepared to give yourself time and be OK with what I call a bit of ‘bounce back’ where you feel absolutely fine and then something will trigger an old memory or behaviour. If you recognise it for what it is, and make a conscious decision of what you want to do next, you start to put yourself in the position of directing your thoughts and actions rather than them seemingly directing and controlling you.
- Realise that you are not alone and if you really knew what was going on behind closed doors, it is way more common for people to feel like this than you might think. Once you get that into your head you can let go of feeling ashamed that you haven’t just been able to just ‘sort it out’ and realise that there are some things in life that you might need a bit of external help with.
- Reading self help books, as the article mentioned, is a good start, and for some people that can be enough because sometimes you just need to read, or see, or hear the right thing at the right time. If that hasn’t quite hit the mark for you, don’t give up, get help. For me I started with that call to the Samaritans and then was thankfully straight into personal development on a Practitioner Course which helped me more than I could have ever realised, not just to help myself, but then to go on and spend the past 14 years doing the same for others. There is so much help out there. Maybe start by consulting what I call Guru Google and seeing what resonates.
And as Bon Jovi and the boys say, ‘Keep The Faith’ because you really can come out the other side and live a fun and joyous life.
Marilyn Devonish
ABOUT MARILYN DEVONISH
Marilyn Devonish is a Certified Trainer of NLP, Certified Trainer of Hypnosis, Certified Trainer of Time Line Therapy, Certified PhotoReading™ Instructor, Access Bars Facilitator, Angel Card Tarot Reader, and Soul Plan Reader. She is also a Practitioner of EFT, EmoTrance, Hawaiian Huna and Ho’oponopono, DNA Theta Healing, Positive EFT, Access Consciousness, Reiki, and Archetypal Profiling.
She is currently putting together a guide on how to choose a Coach, Therapist or Personal Development Practitioner so do check back here for further details.
Website: www.tranceformationsTM.com
E-mail: marilyn@tranceformationsTM.com