The Answer To This 4-Word Question Can Change Your Life

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It’s a tiny question. I mean only 4 words. Yet you would be surprised how challenging it can sometimes be to answer. However when you do find the answer it can be a game changer. A life changer in fact.

You would think, having spent your whole life being that you it would be easy to answer, but no, it often stops people in their tracks and takes their breath away. It has even reduced people to tears, or left them in a state of confusion while they wait for that magical and exhilarating moment of clarity to appear.

So what is the show stopper game changer of a question?

What is this one question, such that when you can answer it with certainty and clarity, everything in your life can change?  It changes because in knowing the answer there’s a new energy behind it.  It changes because it’s as though you can now marshall your time, energy, focus, passion, and resources behind the answer.

The Little Big Question That Can Change Your Life

So the question is:

“What do you want?”

When you know the answer to this question you can stop faffing around and really go for it.

You can ask this in any context and it can still have the same life changing effect.


So if you’re confused about a relationship, or if you or your partner are blowing hot and cold (no pun intended), the answer to this question can define what happens next.

Many people don’t actually truly know what they want in a relationship, which is what can make it so hard to commit to something and someone.  Often one person knows but the other doesn’t so it causes conflict and a mis-match of priorities.

Your Career

Maybe you’ve been working somewhere for a while, or you’re stuck in a rut, or you know it’s time to reskill or upskill, or you get the sense that it is time for a complete change of direction.  The answer to this question can set the course of where you go next and what happens in your career.

Your Life

Many of the clients that I am seeing coming to me of late are in a place where the are searching for more meaning or wanting to identify their Life Purpose.  The answer to this question is a game changer.

The Difference that Makes the Difference

If you are in that position, just stop.  Close your eyes for a moment, and just think about it.  What do you want?

If you knew exactly what you wanted at this stage in your life, what difference would it make to your peace of mind?  What difference would it make in terms of how you choose to spend your time?  What difference would it make in terms of being able to move forwards with more certainty, focus, and clarity.

What do you want?

What do you want?


So as you closed your eyes and thought about it, what answer did you get?

Now of course many people get by perfectly well just bimbling along, or as I like to call it swanning about and seeing what unfolds and that’s a very cool place to be in as well, and I’ve spent the past year intentionally doing just that after 14 years of focus.

For me, what is nice about knowing the answer to this question in the various contexts of your life is that it allows you to hold a bigger vision of where you are going, and to make plans and take action towards it and in alignment with that vision rather than scattering your energy.

The cruise ship feels like free form floating however the ultimate destination is clear

The cruise ship feels like free form floating however the ultimate destination is clear

It’s a bit like being on a massive cruise ship.  It often feels as though you are just sailing along in the Caribbean Sea with no real direction however the path is very carefully plotted, with course corrections being made along the way to ensure that the next port, your thing, is very clearly in mind and being headed for.   Every action that is taken, even the detours, have that bigger picture and overall destination in mind.  This in no way detracts from enjoying the journey, it just means that every action is heading towards the next port and the overall outcome.

And your outcome doesn’t have to be a ‘thing’ like building a particular type of business, relationship, or pursuing a particular career.  For many it is, as the film famously coined the phrase of being in pursuit of, it can simply be about happiness.

And if happiness or some variation on that theme is what you want, each day/week/month you can incorporate some of the following exercises:

  • Ask what you can do today/this week/this month to bring more happiness (or insert whatever your ‘x’ thing is here) into your life?
  • As you evaluate your options, factor in how much happiness/x  taking a particular course of action will bring you?
  • As you take action, ask yourself: “Does this move me further away from or closer to my ultimate outcome or goal?”
  • For those times where it is a task that simply needs to be done, ask yourself: “What can I do to add more fun and happiness into this task, or what can I do immediately afterwards to restore the balance?”
  • You can also simply ask: “What makes me happy?  What contributes to my happiness?”

Be Careful of Not Putting the Cart Before the Horse . . . .

Oh, and people often get ahead of themselves because when I ask:” What does happiness/x mean to you? many are unable to answer, which means they are pursuing something undefinable which can again make the whole journey more difficult because it is so nondescript.

The Archetypal Hero's Journey -

The Archetypal Hero’s Journey –

If it really is about your life and your life’s purpose, and what you are here on this earth to do, you can start by going deeper and examining where you are on the universal Hero’s or Archetypal Journey (see above) because whatever it is that you feel ‘called’ to do will give you some really big clues.  The Archetypal Psychometric Test is quite a scientific way to determine what’s going on in your life, if you want calculations, and charts, and numerical clarity.  There is of course always the Coaching or Consultancy explorative approach as well.

At the other end of the scale you can do something like a Life Purpose Reading which is always a fun and revealing way to uncover what might be going on for you.

Life Purpose Card Readings with Marilyn Devonish

Life Purpose Card Readings with Marilyn Devonish

Ironically I remember the first time I pulled a Life Purpose Card, it came up with the exact same card that I’ve just randomly pulled here for photographic purposes, which is: ‘Speaker.  Your life purpose involves your skills of oration.’

If someone had told me that growing up or in my early 30’s I would have laughed them out of town because I was very quiet and shy and severely lacking in confidence and self-esteem so could barely speak to my own family and friends, much less taking to the stage to address 2,000+ people, which is what I love doing now.

So I shall leave you with that little big question.

Do feel free to share how you got on and what was revealed as you took time out to consider it.

And for those of you that know me, you’ll most likely also know that the concept of synchronicity plays a big part in my life (you can check out my Synchronicity Files page on Facebook for more about that).

As I was creating the final graphic for this blog, and wondering if this question is really as big as I think it is, an e-mail popped into my inbox.  No prizes for guessing the subject matter . . . . . .  The preview of the first 2 lines said: “Hi Marilyn, Are you chasing what you really want?”  I kid you not!  See the big red arrow below.

Synchronicity Blog about what you really want

Synchronicity Blog about what you really want

Marilyn Devonish ♥



Marilyn Devonish is a Life & Executive Coach, Management Consultant, Archetypal Profiling Consultant, Angel Tarot Card Reader, and multi disciplinary Therapist, everything from NLP and Hypnotherapy, through to Hawaiian Huna, DNA Theta Healing and Soul Plan Reading.  She has been in practice since October 2000 and is all about helping her clients achieve lasting change and transformation.



Archetypal Profiling: 

Angel Tarot Card Readings: Angel Tarot Card Readings with Marilyn Devonish




About the Author:

Marilyn Devonish has been described as the UK equivalent of Oprah Winfrey, Marianne Williamson, Anthony Robbins, a dash of Doreen Virtue, and the trio from Charmed all rolled into one. I (Marilyn Devonish) have admit that was too big of a statement for me to own, but I equally admit that I do like the sound of it and it did make me smile. Marilyn Devonish - Herself since Year 2000.

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