Single for the holiday season? Apparently one of the big fears and stigmas

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Did any of my other single friends get ‘that look‘ over the holiday season after being asked where their man (or woman) was?

That look you’d expect to get if you just told them your favourite puppy had just passed away.

That look that says ‘oh dear your life must be so empty, unhappy, or incomplete.’

That look that somehow seems question what is wrong with you?

It almost felt like a scene from Sex And The City.

Sex And The City - photo courtesy of HBO

Sex And The City – photo courtesy of HBO

People had been commenting the whole time how happy I was, how lovely it must be to be able to be spontaneous about life, how I seemed to be doing so many fun things, and then the singledom rears its head and suddenly that look dawns.

“So how is your man?” one inquisitive family member in their 70’s enquired with a glint in her eye, as she simultaneously peered around the room, almost looking to see in which direction I might point to single him out and grab his attention.

I explained that I was single and perfectly happy.   “Are you sure?” she said, obviously concerned for my well being, and probably wondering, like many why, someone like me who seems kind of normal, albeit a little bit quirky and out there, would be single.

I totally get that that, particularly from the older generation and in their 70’s and 80’s grew up in an era where women were married in their early 20’s, it must be odd that someone of my age could still be prancing about unattached.

I am very happy being single, and I am sure that I will be just as happy in a relationship when the time is right.

It may seem like an odd comparison, but I see relationships a little like clothes.  I’m not one for shopping, or pacing the isles looking for just the right thing, however that said I do have some lovely and beautiful clothes, some of which have been with me for many years, still providing lots of pleasure and joy in wearing them.  I wasn’t ‘looking’ for them per se, they just caught my eye at just the right moment and conditions were right for me to have them.

It has kind of been the same with relationships.  I’ve never gone out looking for them per se.  I’ve not been pacing around bars or shopping on line for Mr Right or Right Now.  In the past they have shown up and caught my eye when the time was right.

Jerry Maguire - photo courtesy of IMDb

Jerry Maguire – photo courtesy of IMDb

So, for all of those that dispense the look.  I know it is well meaning, and please also know and rest assured that it is possible to be single AND happy.  Know that there are those of us who are single and NOT walking around feeling incomplete – that Jerry Maguire has much to answer for, lol!  😉

Alright, just going back to my microwave dinner for one . . . . .

And for those fighting a sense of sticking to the norm when it comes to the subject of relationships, you might want to check out my latest blog post on the subject of suppression, rebellion, and making the decision to live your life now.

Thank you also to What Evolved Women Want and Graham R White for republishing the Blog.



Marilyn Devonish is a Social Commentator on life, a Keynote Speaker, Workshop Leader, and TranceFormational® Change Coach.  With a mission to free and transform the hearts, souls, and minds of those that are ready, she has been a regular writer of newspaper and magazine columns and articles and radio and TV guest.





About the Author:

Marilyn Devonish has been described as the UK equivalent of Oprah Winfrey, Marianne Williamson, Anthony Robbins, a dash of Doreen Virtue, and the trio from Charmed all rolled into one. I (Marilyn Devonish) have admit that was too big of a statement for me to own, but I equally admit that I do like the sound of it and it did make me smile. Marilyn Devonish - Herself since Year 2000.


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