Is this The Key to Love?

I’m just going through the notes of the astrological reading that I had yesterday.  Many subjects were touched upon; The overload of service, humanitarianism, and wanting to help in my chart and how that often tips into not being rewarded or recognised for what I do.  The high levels of inventiveness and innovation and the massive amounts of energy to function at a high level like the ‘ Indianapolis 500.’ There was also talk of my ‘spiritual safari leader’ energy (which I think could make for a good workshop taking people on a spiritual tour!), and my innate sense of bliss, joyfulness, and friendliness.

It was fascinating. We also talked about relationships, and my chart seemed to sum up quite eloquently what I often share with my clients on the subject of relationships.

The Key To Love
The Key To Love

I started the conversation on the subject by sharing that I do a lot of coaching around relationships, and successfully so, however it also sometimes seems weird that I would be in that line of work given that I’m happily single. The question I basically asked was: “Am I being a fraud in some way?” (Given that people come because they want to clean up their old emotional baggage and find a partner) And: “Am I in some crazy state of denial feeling so happy in my singledom?”

He and my astro chart said:

“You have a very advanced understanding of what love is. Most people think they will achieve a state of love through a partner. You have a deep emotional self sufficiency and have found ways of attaining a state of love without a partner.

Ultimate love is a singular state of awareness from within and you are one of the people to have the capacity to realise this, so it is self realisation and not a deficiency, it is just your particular state of being in the world.

Your destiny is to spread a joyful friendliness in the world, a state of higher awareness that’s driving a lot of your work; How to achieve inner self sufficiency and self enlightenment.

Two people who suck often come together in a relationship but it’s inconsistent and they then look outside of themselves for things to solve that. You understand what love is, an experience of being. 

Your chart is not missing out by not being married and there is no regret that you have ‘missed the boat’ – the world is your partner and that joyfulness is like a pilot light that never goes out, a state of bliss, a state of joyfulness, and it gets bigger the closer you get to it. 

Many people want to be married or be in a relationship and Marilyn this is where you come in. The real key to good relationships is to be married to yourself, to be able to love yourself first. The happier we are internally, the more happiness you get. If you want more love, be lovely, that is the skill that you teach. You teach the experience of loveliness as a good foundation of life. That needs to be taught much more.”

Interesting . . . . . . . . .

Mixed race couple
The foundations for a fulfilling relationship

As he spoke, it was so much in alignment with how I have always felt and seen the foundations for a good relationship.  I guess what is then required is a partner who feels the same and who is also doing their inner work to be more whole and less needy.

Note I say ‘doing’  their inner work rather than ‘done’ because my experience has also been that as enlightened as we might think we are, it always seems as though there is room for improvement or additional work to be done. However, getting the ball rolling in cleaning some of that emotional baggage up can help pave the way for a more harmonious and loving relationship.

I have previously shared my thoughts on what I call the ‘Jerry Maguire Syndrome’ and the infamous Tom Cruise ‘you complete me’ scene.   It does all sound lovely and romantic in the movie, yet in real life lays down the pre-supposition that we are somehow incomplete until we have achieved some sort of coupling, that we are walking around with some kind of gaping hole.  For some people, they would rather be in a relationship, any relationship, even a destructive relationship, lest risk the stigma of being alone.

My next question is: “What of intimacy?”

There is definitely a lot to be said for self love, and the inner peace and satisfaction that comes from being comfortable being you, and loving your own company, and freedom from being constantly lonely.  We are also I believe connected creatures, and another level of depth comes from that intimate connection with another soul, a depth one might not be able to fully plunge and explore on their own.

The passion between Kara Tointon and Artem Chigvinstev ignited during Strictly Come Dancing
The passion between Kara Tointon and Artem Chigvinstev ignited during Strictly Come Dancing

I am now pondering if my next step is to become a nun. That would however be a nun with bling, who likes her #DanceBreaks and likes to go out partying, and who has a rather naughty sense of humour. Actually, maybe that’s not gonna work.

OK, #Pondering

Marilyn ♥

ADDITION TO THE ORIGINAL POST

I posted a shorter version of this Blog on facebook and within minutes one of my friends posted the question: “What is the single most important thing you have done to fall in love with yourself if you were to know?”

Phew.  The single most important thing?  That was a tough one given there have been a multitude of things.  My initial response to that question is below:

“Oh god David, now there’s a question!   First, and possibly most importantly I made the conscious decision to take some time out after my last relationship because I drove that poor man crazy with my up and down and inconsistent behaviour about what I wanted and didn’t want, what I liked and didn’t like.

With that came the realisation that if I didn’t sort my shit out, no matter how great the man, I risked messing it all up because that internal stuff gets projected onto and indeed inflicted upon my partner.

And in terms of myself, I think it was taking the time to regularly step back and look at what I was doing, what I had achieved and going: “Damn, that was good!”   From there comes a kind of appreciation, not in a bigging up your chest kind of way, but more a, ‘you had all this going on and you still managed to do that? Well done.’ And, it’s a work in progress!”

I also went back and had a look at my Soul Plan, and sure enough, my Soul Destiny is: ‘A great desire to learn, great love to share, mothering people, seeing beauty in all, romantic, harmonious, and successful.’  Mmmmmmm, coincidence?  I think not!

(If you are interested in seeing more about the Soul Plan in action, I did a reading about Whitney Houston following her death, and what her Soul Plan revealed about her life and death in a previous Blog click here to read the fully reading.  I also wrote an overview of the Soul Plan process which explains what it is and how it all works.

#StillProcessing   

ABOUT MARILYN DEVONISH

Marilyn Devonish is a Freelance Writer, Keynote Speaker, Workshop Facilitator, and Spiritual Alchemist.  She is a Certified Trainer of NLP, Certified Trainer of Time Line Therapy, Certified Trainer of Hypnosis, Certified PhotoReading Instructor, Soul Plan Reader, Angel Tarot Card Reader, and Practitioner in Hawaiian Huna, EFT, EmoTrance, DNA Theta Healing, Access Consciousness, Positive EFT, Energetic NLP, OTH (Opening The Heart), and Reiki.  She is also a Business Graduate, Management Consultant, Prince2 Project Manager, and Corporate Trainer.

She works with both individuals and corporations who want to get clarity on their sense of purpose and direction, and accelerate their performance.

Her Relationship CD ‘Is He/She The One’  is available via the website.

Web: www.tranceformationsTM.com

E-mail: Marilyn@tranceformationsTM.com

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