Are You In Denial of Your Past & Where You Came From?

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Today I am ‪#‎curious‬ about why people sometimes try to deny where they have come from or avoid acknowledging the things, or indeed the people, that have helped them along the way.

I see no point in pretending that I didn’t grow up on a council estate in South London (our flat was on the first floor in the picture below).  On those occasions where I could break through my shyness and be part of the group I actually had a darn good time, and back in those days there was a real community feel to it all.

William Bonney Estate, Clapham

William Bonney Estate, Clapham

The Saturday night’s at the Clapham swimming baths listening to King Tubby’s Hi Fi. Estate parties with the local sound system boys who would set up their speaker boxes to practice before house parties. Chasing after the DPP Bros ice cream van at sunset, knowing that I had enough money in my hot little hand for either a double wafer or an ice cream with flake and sprinkles, or a snowball where you impatiently work your way down to the bubble gum at the end. Playing out on the swings until my mother’s voice rang out across the estate calling me inside.

Ice Cream Van

Ice Cream Van and those childhood sunset memories

I am not saying that you have to stay in your past, but being in denial of it, or pretending that you made it all by yourself, really?

Marathon Runners Legs

Denying your legs helped you win the race is like trying to outrun your shadow!


It’s a bit like being able bodied, running a marathon, winning Olympic Gold, and then standing on the podium and saying that your legs didn’t play a part in helping you get where you are today.  In a previous Blog post I have already discussed the Oprah and Debbie Ford interview and the danger and perils of trying to deny your shadow side.

In my model of the world I have found that many of the experiences that I have been through, both the positive and the negative, the seemingly bad and the good, they all make up the threads of the tapestry of who I am, and without which, my ‘picture’ might be somewhat incomplete.

Did I enjoy the period of my life where I was feeling suicidal?  Well no, of course not.  Did it stand me in good stead for having access to a level of empathy that I might never of known when I became a volunteer Samaritan?  Absolutely yes.

Would I wish childhood sexual abuse on another person and say that it was a good and beneficial experience?  No.  Did it provide me with a resilience and alternative perspective and outlook on life that I might otherwise not have acquired?  Yes.

Just imagine the beautiful painting below with several ‘brush stroke events’ missing:

Romio Shrestha's Tapestry painting

Romio Shrestha’s Tapestry painting

Of course I sometimes have to remind myself of such facts when things aren’t going the way that I want them to or situations aren’t shaping up the way I would have hoped for or planned.

I, much like many others have no idea of the really big picture of what life is all about however it currently suits my purpose to imagine that life is in many respects what I make of it and that I have been gifted with the ability, as everyone has, to choose to embrace all of those threads in the tapestry rather than cut them out or try to deny them.

And just to be clear, don’t take away from your own achievements, which some people go the other way and totally do: “Oh that little thing?  What this certificate?  My starting a Foundation . . . . It was nothing!”  No, enjoy and relish and bask in your own achievements, and share with the world the great things you have accomplished and done.  All I’m saying here is don’t pretend that you did EVERYTHING yourself if you had help along the way or if those characteristics and traits that you developed during the more difficult times helped to shape and make you who you are.

Just sayin’

Marilyn Devonish 



Marilyn Devonish is a Freelance Writer, Keynote Speaker, Workshop Facilitator, and Global Thought Leader.  She has a business background, graduating with a Business Degree and Post Grad Marketing Diploma at the start of her career.  She has since gone on to also embrace the more esoteric side of life and is also a Certified Trainer of NLP, Time Line Therapy, and Hypnosis, a Certified PhotoReading & Accelerated Learning Instructor, Soul Plan Reader, Angel Tarot Card Reader, Life & Executive Coach and Archetypal Profiling Coach.  She is also a Practitioner of Hawaiian Huna, EFT, DNA Theta Healing, EmoTrance, Positive EFT, Energetic NLP, Reiki, Access Bars, and Access Consciousness.




About the Author:

Marilyn Devonish has been described as the UK equivalent of Oprah Winfrey, Marianne Williamson, Anthony Robbins, a dash of Doreen Virtue, and the trio from Charmed all rolled into one. I (Marilyn Devonish) have admit that was too big of a statement for me to own, but I equally admit that I do like the sound of it and it did make me smile. Marilyn Devonish - Herself since Year 2000.

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