Be Who You Are – Chances Are They Won’t Like You Anyway

There was somebody I kinda liked but they didn’t seem to like me.  Nothing overt to speak of,  just a feeling and sense that something was off whenever I ran into them (not literally you understand) or spoke to them.

I found myself wondering what I could do to have them like me more, and then I had to stop and take a moment.

I was reminded of something that Oprah Winfrey said when repeatedly pressed to comment on the Iyanla Vanzant situation of many years ago, where they allegedly had a falling out and parting of ways.

Oprah made a statement along the the lines of : “If someone doesn’t want me I don’t want them.  I would rather let them go.”   This was in response to the question about why she didn’t try harder to get Iyanla to stay when she was offered a new TV contract with Barbara Walters whilst working on the Oprah Winfrey Show.  Oprah also spoke about what she called per previous affliction, ‘the disease to please.’

I had to sit back and check myself as we used to say back in the day: “Really Marilyn?  Are you really going to try and morph yourself into something they might approve of?”  The answer to that of course had to be a resounding ‘No’ in no uncertain terms.

“It’s Power Rangers Transformer Morphing time!”

I did have a moment where I started to think about what I could do to change or modify my behaviour in order to be more palatable for them.  The thought about trying to morph into something or someone else.  “If I were to just do this or that, maybe that would make them like me more?”  Of course, anyone who has been down that road in friendships, or romantic relationships for that matter probably knows who that little story is likely to turn out . . . . One of you will more than likely be bent out of shape and it probably isn’t the other party.

Some people however mistakenly do it to the extent where they become almost unrecognisable when in the company of the other person or group of people.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would never go out of my way to upset someone.  However if me being me is all it takes for them to be upset, I don’t need to engage my psychic skills to know that it’s probably not a friendship or collaboration made in heaven.

Should it transpire that my sense about it is wrong (and yes, I have asked them about it, to which they assured me it was all ‘fine’), I look forward to having that moment of realisation that Oprah experienced with Iyanla once they had both gained some perspective.

Until such time, I shall continue on, being myself, safe in the knowledge that whatever is meant to be will be.

I do believe that some people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  Whichever it is, I remain grateful to them and the lessons, realisations, insights, and growth that they bring.

We all know from life and Mother Nature that seasons come and seasons go, each having their rightful place in the grand scheme and order of things.  Some touch us lightly, others with more force or severity.  Each however does pass, leaving a lesson, experience or memories in its wake.

Marilyn Devonish x

ABOUT MARILYN DEVONISH

Marilyn Devonish is a Freelance Magazine Writer, Keynote Speaker, Workshop Facilitator, and TranceFormational  Change Coach.  Working with both individuals and organisations who are ready for next level transformation or change, Marilyn is passionate about helping people to uncover their latent talents, potential, and skills.

Website: www.tranceformationsTM.com 

E-mail: marilyn@tranceformationsTM.com